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The Pain of Gossip

How Gossip Can Damage Intimacy in Community

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I am scared to share this… and committed to learning and sharing my experience for my growth and the opportunity of growth for others.

As many people know, I live my life pretty wide open with next to no filter. I am open to pretty much anyone knowing pretty much any thing about me. I feel embarrassed to admit that I don’t always remember that other people are not the same way.

Due to moments of unconsciousness and lack of awareness I have made some choices in my past of talking about others. Over the years, some of the closest people to me, the people I love the most, and love me the most, have experienced anger, pain, frustration and embarrassment as a result of my choices.

I am outing myself now. I am starting to realize and get the impact of my behavior and committing to new choices.

I am so thankful for a few special people in my life who have expressed how important their privacy is to them. I am in training, and I have sooo many amazing teachers who have been patient and accepting with me.

In the last several weeks there has been a theme and inquiry among my friends. When we are in community with such a tight circle, and someone needs/wants support in a relationship (friend or lover), how can one ask for support without sharing either private information or information that would impact their view of that person?

This is what I have so far, and I am requesting from the community to be held accountable for the following:

  • Create the context – If I am wanting support/help around a relationship I am committed to setting up the context for sharing about a situation/person
  • Not using the person’s name if it is not necessary
  • Using “I” statements – “I’m confused” “What I am learning” “I am feeling” “I need help with…”
  • Contacting someone for support that does not know the people involved
I of course am committed to talking directly with the person once I have clarity. I know for myself there are times when I need support and guidance from others when I am stumped.

Curious to hear any thoughts, ideas, questions, confessions, feedback, concerns or even if there is anything unresolved for anyone with me.

Love, love, love, love, love to you all. Here's to our expansion!

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